Oldie but goodie
This article was originally published in evilmonito.com, written by my partner in crime, Mark Paasuke.
What is it about a girl that'll make you do things? You'll cry for her, you'd lie for her, maybe not die for her - but you know what I mean. Why does a vinyl-digger buy wax on credit when the bills remain unpaid? Why do snow- and skate-boarders routinely push themselves to potentially crippling limits? What is it about love that obscures common sense, allowing us to dive blindly into the shallow end of whatever it is that we love? Lovers, in some ways, are akin to the bedraggled ruffians shuffling around the shady part of town, concentrating solely on one thing: "the next hit". Love is an addiction, and it seems that most of us are afflicted.
Addiction itself, if broken down, is primarily composed of "I want…" or "…it feels good". Humanity, in general, likes to feel good; we are seemingly born hard-wired to live according to "the pleasure principle", limited only by finding that negative consequences can (and do) arise from certain indulgences. We continually learn, actively seeking out pleasurable sensations, avoiding or even ignoring affiliated unpleasant aspects of life. For example, disregarding ubiquitous doctors' warnings about the effects of high blood pressure and high cholesterol, many still find creamy comfort at the bottom of a Hagen Daz container.
While sifting through stale Kenny Rogers, and moldy Disco Christmas albums, aspiring DJs feel real joy each time a new musical "score" is uncovered. The joys motivate the digging, and the DJ repeatedly finds offerings of new vinyl, each promising to appease the internal voice that is not, nor ever will be, satisfied by "…just one more". As long as funds are available, the records will be bought. When the cash runs out…? …more must be found, soon, and possibly at the expense of other life measures.
While some love sweets, and some love music, still others crave the shivering excitement of riding gravity and friction, surfing the streets, slashing waves, or carving up the snowy mountainsides. Here, escaping personal injury enhances the natural thrill; although victory is inherently good, triumph over known danger surely sweetens success, further re-enforcing the act as an apparently beneficial part of life. Past victories increase the chance of taking similar risks in the future, conversely however, defeats are often painful and can lead us to question the merits of certain acts. Breaking manicured fingernails digging for the dollar wedged under the car seat? If that dollar means inner warmth through chocolate - then that's love.
Really, whether breaking bones flying through the skate-park, or pitching last, hard-earned pennies buying a girl drinks or movies, we need to accept that although love is generally a positive sentiment, sometimes love hurts. Love is an open transaction requiring willing participants. In order to fly, we first have to spread our wings and jump - we have to try. This willingness leaves us vulnerable to all kinds of rough treatment in the name of love, both self-inflicted and otherwise. Often, we jump but are quickly hindered by the spectre of doubt, fear comes from all (both) sides entangling our wings and we fall to learn a hard lesson far below.
Although the suffering caused by one bad fall can sadly be enough to close doors to future loving opportunities, more often than not, these lessons are quickly forgotten - wounds heal, and painful memories are lost in the hazy funk of love's promises. Addiction becomes evident here if one persistently ignores the hurtful consequences of a love gone bad. We find loving feelings in many things, and while some loves serve to enhance our lives, others prove to be detrimental, deceitful notions, merely feigning reciprocal love to hide self-interested motives.
Whatever the love may be, whether it be a true, warm and open experience, or a hurtful, abusive, possibly one-sided affair, we often go to great mental and physical lengths chasing fuzzy loving sensations. Love is an addiction - we want to love and to be loved; these urges get in deep and burn slow inside, driving us to do things a non-loving person would never consider. This love-induced madness, if carefully checked and directed can promote growth in relationships, increase in athletic prowess, or even freedom through artistic expression.
Love is all around us, and addiction, by definition, has a tight grip, so find something positively good to love and absolutely love the shit out of it.
xomarkie
Copyright © 2003 Evil Monito
What is it about a girl that'll make you do things? You'll cry for her, you'd lie for her, maybe not die for her - but you know what I mean. Why does a vinyl-digger buy wax on credit when the bills remain unpaid? Why do snow- and skate-boarders routinely push themselves to potentially crippling limits? What is it about love that obscures common sense, allowing us to dive blindly into the shallow end of whatever it is that we love? Lovers, in some ways, are akin to the bedraggled ruffians shuffling around the shady part of town, concentrating solely on one thing: "the next hit". Love is an addiction, and it seems that most of us are afflicted.
Addiction itself, if broken down, is primarily composed of "I want…" or "…it feels good". Humanity, in general, likes to feel good; we are seemingly born hard-wired to live according to "the pleasure principle", limited only by finding that negative consequences can (and do) arise from certain indulgences. We continually learn, actively seeking out pleasurable sensations, avoiding or even ignoring affiliated unpleasant aspects of life. For example, disregarding ubiquitous doctors' warnings about the effects of high blood pressure and high cholesterol, many still find creamy comfort at the bottom of a Hagen Daz container.
While sifting through stale Kenny Rogers, and moldy Disco Christmas albums, aspiring DJs feel real joy each time a new musical "score" is uncovered. The joys motivate the digging, and the DJ repeatedly finds offerings of new vinyl, each promising to appease the internal voice that is not, nor ever will be, satisfied by "…just one more". As long as funds are available, the records will be bought. When the cash runs out…? …more must be found, soon, and possibly at the expense of other life measures.
While some love sweets, and some love music, still others crave the shivering excitement of riding gravity and friction, surfing the streets, slashing waves, or carving up the snowy mountainsides. Here, escaping personal injury enhances the natural thrill; although victory is inherently good, triumph over known danger surely sweetens success, further re-enforcing the act as an apparently beneficial part of life. Past victories increase the chance of taking similar risks in the future, conversely however, defeats are often painful and can lead us to question the merits of certain acts. Breaking manicured fingernails digging for the dollar wedged under the car seat? If that dollar means inner warmth through chocolate - then that's love.
Really, whether breaking bones flying through the skate-park, or pitching last, hard-earned pennies buying a girl drinks or movies, we need to accept that although love is generally a positive sentiment, sometimes love hurts. Love is an open transaction requiring willing participants. In order to fly, we first have to spread our wings and jump - we have to try. This willingness leaves us vulnerable to all kinds of rough treatment in the name of love, both self-inflicted and otherwise. Often, we jump but are quickly hindered by the spectre of doubt, fear comes from all (both) sides entangling our wings and we fall to learn a hard lesson far below.
Although the suffering caused by one bad fall can sadly be enough to close doors to future loving opportunities, more often than not, these lessons are quickly forgotten - wounds heal, and painful memories are lost in the hazy funk of love's promises. Addiction becomes evident here if one persistently ignores the hurtful consequences of a love gone bad. We find loving feelings in many things, and while some loves serve to enhance our lives, others prove to be detrimental, deceitful notions, merely feigning reciprocal love to hide self-interested motives.
Whatever the love may be, whether it be a true, warm and open experience, or a hurtful, abusive, possibly one-sided affair, we often go to great mental and physical lengths chasing fuzzy loving sensations. Love is an addiction - we want to love and to be loved; these urges get in deep and burn slow inside, driving us to do things a non-loving person would never consider. This love-induced madness, if carefully checked and directed can promote growth in relationships, increase in athletic prowess, or even freedom through artistic expression.
Love is all around us, and addiction, by definition, has a tight grip, so find something positively good to love and absolutely love the shit out of it.
xomarkie
Copyright © 2003 Evil Monito
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1:01 PM
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